Balanced On the Edge

Camino de Santiago

April poetry challenge day 1

Birth of the Sun

Across the bathroom floor,
the house shrouded
in a caul of night,
I lie face up.
In spite of cool tiles
against bare skin,
my five-year-old body
arcs from fever.
Mother and Father
crouch over me, swab my torso
with rubbing alcohol.
My heart turns to lava,
leaks out my pores, swirls
into a mass above my parents’ backs.
There is no movement toward the light –
I am the source.
***

Day 1 of napowrimo at Read Write Poem and Poetic Asides. I’m trying to do both challenges, because I’m an over achiever like that. Today’s prompt from Poetic Asides is to write an origin poem. Jill’s prompt is to make up a metaphor and include it in the poem.

Jill has asked us to gather 50 words as part of this month of poetry writing. If you have a cool word or two you’d like to donate to my personal cause, please leave it here in the comments section. Thanks!

poems

napowrimo 2009, Poetic Asides, read write poem

Published by

Christine

Responses

Collin Kelley

April 1, 2009 at 9:05 am

Nice one. Great imagery.

p.s. New book trailer is posted. 🙂

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Linda Jacobs

April 1, 2009 at 9:06 am

My heart turns to lava,
leaks out my pores, swirls
into a mass above my parents’ backs.

Love this metaphor!
I like how the poem begins in the concrete and ends kind of mysteriously.

Here ae a couple words for you: meander, notebook

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jo

April 1, 2009 at 10:33 am

Good descriptions, C. I particularly like the ending: There is no movement toward the light,
I am the source. Such energy spilling here…….

Words: slick and shift

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blythe

April 1, 2009 at 11:27 am

Wow. I love this image — so powerful.

Some words: crank, vagrant, plum, maleable.

Happy Napowriming (and more)!

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Michelle

April 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Let the games begin.

I’m an over achiever like that This made me smile.

Wonderful imagery, C. Keep it up.

Words: strait-jacket, migration

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Nickers and Ink

April 1, 2009 at 1:30 pm

What responsibility a child may seem to assume.

Blessings,
Linda

NaPoWriMo –

THE JESTER RULES

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susan

April 1, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Christine, I saw this first at PAD.I could feel the heat and worry. Very effective imagery.

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Carole

April 1, 2009 at 4:44 pm

I’m assuming that you started with the things close to you (Jill’s prompt) but what a creative creation.

words: nascent, lachrymose

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Jordan Reynolds

April 1, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Excellent poem, C. I definitely agree with the others that the imagery dealing with the parents’ backs is strong. Your use of motion is also nice. There is motion in the piece, but it is centered on the birthed sun.

Excellent work, a nice beginning.

Best,
Jordan

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christine

April 1, 2009 at 5:38 pm

Carole, I started by making a list of things right around me, including my wedding band. The wedding band made me think of the sun, which led to heat, fever, etc… .

Thanks, Jordan!

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christine

April 1, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Hey, thanks for the words, everyone. I think I’ll get the rest from the RWP wordle prompts.

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carolee

April 1, 2009 at 9:58 pm

being the source is a great way to start napowrimo! (love the lava!)

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Julie

April 3, 2009 at 10:26 am

Excellent poem. What sharp images. I love:

“My heart turns to lava,
leaks out my pores, swirls
into a mass above my parents’ backs.”

I’m glad you made the comment about your wedding band, because the creative process is so interesting to me. Isn’t it wild how that made you think of the sun? It’s fitting, though. And beautiful. I know you’ll rise to the challenge. Awesome poetry!

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