A Bop for Read Write Poem

Crow Angel

Their calls rip through the air after they’ve gone.
I’ve pieced together an opera cloak
from their fallen feathers,
lined it with clouds and swathes
of midnight sky. I fly by your window.
Can you hear my cries?

Days when birds abandon trees
I comb the grass for feathers.

My cloak is black as a vanished star,
You’ll see me from afar, above a crowded
opera house, soaring
in time with Exsultate, Jubilate.
Voices lift me to a ceiling
as frothy white as a wedding cake.
It is shining with the tears
of all the arias.

Days when birds abandon trees
I comb the grass for feathers.

Crows flap their wings in my chest.
I twirl in the space above you,
my torso a treble clef,
my legs quarter notes, darker than soot.
Join me in this shadow dance,
my cloak is large enough for two,
but if you doubt me, I’ll gather

some feathers for you – on those days
when birds abandon trees, I’ll comb the grass, for you.

***

The prompt this week at Read write Poem is to write a bop using donated lines as the refrain. My refrain comes from Jillypoet. Birds are a leitmotif in many of Jill’s poems, and I thank her for sharing her perspective on them with me.

By the way, Jill has two new poems up at Mannequin Envy.

*Alleluja – Exsultate, Jubilate is an aria by Mozart. If you haven’t heard Kathleen Battle sing it, listen here.

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Responses

  1. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    This is exquisite, C. An absolute pleasure to read.

    Like

  2. jo Avatar
    jo

    Absolutely fantastic. Really amazing work, beautiful.

    Like

  3. christine Avatar
    christine

    Thanks, friends, 🙂

    Like

  4. rmilana Avatar
    rmilana

    Hi Christine,
    Thanks for visiting my blog and for all the comments
    dew drop by anytime..

    anyway this one is fantabulous (fantastic and fabulous) (^_^)
    loved it!

    Like

  5. Deb Avatar
    Deb

    Oh, goodness. This is fantastic. I love it. I love the idea of crows singing arias. Love it.

    Like

  6. christine Avatar
    christine

    deb and rm: 🙂

    Like

  7. carolee Avatar
    carolee

    the dreamlike quality of this is wonderful. i love that quality in your work.

    Like

  8. James Avatar
    James

    I also really like the dreamlike quality of this. Beautiful.

    Like

  9. christine Avatar
    christine

    Thanks, guys. I thought Jill’s refrain was so imaginative. And then right before I went to sleep I wrote a sentence: make a dress out of crow feathers. So that went into my poem.

    Like

  10. paisley Avatar
    paisley

    while i have no idea exactly what the motivation is for this piece,, i can imagine you reading it to me and the flow of the words is near hypnotic… as always my pleasure christine.

    Like

    1. christine Avatar
      christine

      I guess my motivation to write the poem came from Jill’s refrain.

      Like

  11. susan Avatar
    susan

    Enjoyed this especially your closing line. Like the sound and sense of it.

    Like

    1. christine Avatar
      christine

      Thanks, Susan. I will get over to read yours too.

      Like

  12. Nicole Nicholson Avatar
    Nicole Nicholson

    Wow. Visually beautiful. Nice use of the refrain, too.

    Like

  13. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    Oh, I love it! I especially love that last stanza and how you echo but change the refrain in the end. Wonderful work!

    Like

    1. christine Avatar
      christine

      Thanks, Julie. I was thinking of it as a sort of song, like a weird love song. I almost called it ” crowing my love.”

      Like

  14. Sweet Talking Guy.. Avatar
    Sweet Talking Guy..

    Amazing the opera cloak is like a magic cape, you fly, you soar, you twirl!

    And the Aria… Wow!

    Like

  15. beryl singleton bissell Avatar
    beryl singleton bissell

    Oh, these images. How they tremble. From whence do you capture them. I listen:

    My cloak is black as a vanished star,

    my torso a treble clef,
    my legs quarter notes, darker than soot.

    Like

  16. beryl singleton bissell Avatar
    beryl singleton bissell

    Will you send me your password Christine? berylbissell@boreal.org. Thanks.

    Like

  17. Dick Avatar
    Dick

    A glorious swirling piece, underpinned by a sense of myth and ritual.

    Like

  18. jillypoet Avatar
    jillypoet

    I’m so happy you used my lines! The magical realism in this poem is great! I half expect to look outside and see a crow-cloak flying by. The movement and the music work well together, too. “Crows flap their wings in my chest,” is my favorite line!

    Like

  19. jillypoet Avatar
    jillypoet

    and yes, it IS like a love song!

    Like

  20. holly d Avatar
    holly d

    you put this together so well!! the imagery is magnificent!

    Like

  21. Tara Betts Avatar
    Tara Betts

    I am co-editing an anthology of Bop Poems with the creator of the form. Please do send in your Bop Poems.

    Like

  22. Tara Betts Avatar
    Tara Betts

    The website with the Call to Submit your Bop Poems is: http://bopstrutdance.blogspot.com/2010/04/bop-strut-dance-call-for-submissions.html

    Like

  23. Suzy Avatar
    Suzy

    Hey, thanks so much, these are beautiful!
    Great job! :]

    Like

  24. Suzy Avatar
    Suzy

    My name is Suzy Perkins,
    I love mikole misigner
    she is my wife, but i am a women,
    people think it’s wrong,
    but we share our feelings using poetry,
    which we find helpful mending the hardships the world gives us.
    Love foever
    suzy and mikole

    Like

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