Balanced On the Edge

Camino de Santiago

A response to a poem by Holly

Dear Holly,

The buttons on my sweater
strain at the thread, promise to bare
my heart, leave me unfettered

in a world of burly, leather-
clad men who stare
at the buttons on my sweater.

I’ve never been a ‘come-hither’
kind of woman–I’d rather
my heart stay unfettered.

One night of heated touch on feathered
pillows, and my fingers close with care
the remaining buttons on my sweater,

now tense from coming together.
I doubt I could ever prepare
my heart to leave me unfettered,

to open up its folds, consider
taking up the dare¬
to loosen the buttons on my sweater,
to freely bare my heart, unfettered.

***

I love playing around with forms. This one is a villanelle. Thanks, Holly, (Lost Kite) for the great image of the straining buttons, and for the idea to use the image as a metaphor for internal changes.

collaborative poetry, poems

Lost Kite, villanelle

Published by

Christine

Responses

Jo

November 29, 2008 at 1:36 am

Yes, I love the idea of the unfettered heart straining at the buttons. Well done, you two!

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Nathan

November 29, 2008 at 7:24 am

I’m always impressed when someone can write a villanelle. I’ve tried this form so many times and always failed. I really like the way you use the form’s repetition to allow various meanings to accumulate around “the buttons on my sweater.”

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christine

November 29, 2008 at 9:53 am

Holly’s poem is written in couplets, very tender, I really like it. This one is more of an experiment. I’m not sure if I succeeded here, Nathan, like you, I keep trying. It’s like fitting together the pieces of a puzzle.

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art predator

November 29, 2008 at 10:58 am

Christine, this is a very successful villanelle! The form lends itself to reflection, and this poem shows the speaker’s own reflections, and how she is reflected in the eyes of others!

I also like how the poem doesn’t call attention to its form, which to me is another sign of a villanelle’s success.

The letter form is fun as well!

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christine

November 29, 2008 at 11:17 am

Thanks, Gwendolyn, it’s hard to be sure, you know, I just wrote it. Your encouragement is great.

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paisley

November 29, 2008 at 4:58 pm

i read holly’s first in preparation,, and i found myself taking hers in a much more literal sense than i am able to take this one… seems to me that fettered heart is just waiting or a bit of yarn to begin to unravel and allow it the freedom it has secretly desired all along….

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dale

November 29, 2008 at 8:44 pm

This is a marvelous villanelle. & thank you for sending me on to Holly’s!

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Dick

November 30, 2008 at 1:02 am

It’s a tricky form to manage gracefully. This piece manages it really well. Good to see the old forms in new clothing.

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Holly D

November 30, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Oh yes, love! This is wonderful! I love the repetition. You chose the right form for this, I feel. I am not as well-“versed” (huh-huh) in forms. Maybe I’ll try one for the response back. Yay for new ideas!

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Holly D

December 1, 2008 at 9:27 pm

So you know, I have responded. This is fun!

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Julie

December 2, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Oh, yes! You have definitely succeeded. You two have created beautiful poems. I’m going to have to print them out, so I can see them together. That fourth stanza is exceptional. I think it’s so cool that you are inspiring one another…sort of a call and response. I guess it’s collaborative work…in a sense? Or maybe it’s a collaborative inspiration. Wonderful work!

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